For anyone who thought an 82-year-old woman with a German accent couldn’t turn people on, they clearly have not met the world-famous sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
Binghamton University’s Anderson Center housed a full crowd yesterday as nearly 1,000 people gathered for “An Evening of Sex with Dr. Ruth,” held by the Student Association Programming Board and Hillel. This was her second visit to BU, as she had another speaking engagement back in 1992.
Standing at only 4 feet 7 inches, the renowned doctor created a lively presence, saying things that would make even a porn star blush, and the audience of students and locals responded with enthusiasm. Dr. Ruth covered a wide range of topics within the realm of sex, such as tips to keep passion alive within a long-term relationship and the importance of contraceptives, if you’re not ready to have a child.
Dr. Ruth stressed the key to pleasurable sex is the knowledge of sexual intelligence. After a brief introduction, she took questions from the audience where she answered with helpful advice and tips many college students may have been unaware of.
For the ladies: Though she feels that communication is the most important aspect for everyone in the relationship, women must take the responsibility to show men what makes them orgasm. If one does not take a risk, they may not gain the perks of a happier and more enjoyable sex life. Also, be sure to do your Kiegel exercises at least once a day.
For the boys: Dr. Ruth emphasized that despite what people say, size does not matter because “the vagina is accommodating.” For those who suffer from premature ejaculation, which is more common than you think, there are things you can do to increase stamina.
She also suggested leaving worries such as studying for finals outside the bedroom, since it will negatively affect one’s mood and performance.
“Your worries will not go anywhere and you can return to them at a later time, since it is important to concentrate on the present moment,” she explained.
Dr. Ruth also talked about how she felt media and technology had changed the perception of sex.
Technology affects modern sexual relationships between partners, but Dr. Ruth said that activities such as “sexting” cannot possibly replace sexual activity. She suggests looking into each other’s eyes instead of a phone screen.
“Nothing can replace the real thing,” she told the crowd.
Magazines such as Cosmopolitan have sex columns that give advice to many young women and men, but she advised people look at everything with a critical eye.
“I think it’s perfectly fine to access any place you can give and receive good information, though it must apply to you,” Dr. Ruth said. “Just because something is written doesn’t mean it’s the right answer for everyone.”
And for those “Sex and the City” fans, she warns that it’s not very likely that someone will buy you a fur coat and a one-way ticket to Paris, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a romantic.
Dr. Ruth believes sex is most enjoyed within healthy monogamous relationships where trust, intellect and companionship are major bonds between couples. She also encourages people to remain true to what they believe in regarding values, morals and religion — everyone deserves to be happy with their sex lives, whether it means expressing fantasies to a partner or remaining a virgin until marriage.
“I want everybody to find a partner,” Ruth said. “I’m old-fashioned and I’m square!”
— Elena Cox contributed to this report.