The Super Bowl is this Sunday, and it’s probably the only television program you will anticipate the commercial breaks for this year. Whether or not you like football, it’s a great time to shamelessly indulge in advertising. With some companies paying up to $5 million for 30 seconds of airtime, you know they’ll stop at nothing to impress. Some ads are serious, some are hilarious, and the roller coaster of emotions you will experience knows no bounds. The big question is how to cope with all of the feelings you get when you see someone snorting Dorito dust like cocaine followed by a puppy-filled Budweiser commercial. The answer may lie in the bottle of Bud itself. Play along with Pipe Dream and toss some back during the commercials to make Super Bowl 50 even more exciting.
Take a sip every time you see:
— Budweiser Clydesdales
— Puppies
— Someone doing something mildly sexual with a bag of Doritos
— A food you shouldn’t want to eat but definitely do want to eat
— A hashtag that is way too long
— Bros just being bros
— There is a reference to this being the 50th Super Bowl
— Papa John’s offers you a free pizza
Take two sips every time you see:
— An athlete (take an extra sip if they are eating a food you know their trainer would never approve of)
— A model who is eating unhealthy or messy food, but still looks good doing it
— “Hotline Bling” being parodied
— A commercial that inspires you
— You hear the words “drink responsibly”
— There is a romantic subplot in an ad
Take three sips every time:
— A commercial is way too dramatic for the car it’s advertising
— A deodorant commercial turns you on
— You don’t know what the commercial is for until the end
— You feel uncomfortable by the amount of sexism in the commercial
— A GoDaddy commercial is clearly pushing the boundaries of network television
Finish your drink if:
— You see an ad for a company you’ve never heard of
— You see a commercial for a food item you are currently eating
— Something makes you cry
— You consider transferring to the University of Phoenix because their ads are so effective
If you are headed to a friend’s house for the game and plan to drink there, remember to call a cab, hop on the bus or catch a ride from a sober friend. Don’t drink and drive and good luck!