It’s a Friday evening, and after a long week of classes that drained more energy than anyone would like to admit, it’s finally time to go out. Maybe it’s the usual spots — the bars off campus or a frat party. If you’re a freshman, it’s probably the addresses on the random slips of paper that appear under your door, inviting you to yet another social gathering. Either way, it’s the time when everyone can breathe for a second; when you can finally step away from the stress of college life.

There’s something ritualistic about the whole thing: the spontaneous pregames at someone’s dorm, the trek across campus in the cool night air. But what really stands out? It’s the reason we all do it. The thing we chase, the thing that’s become synonymous with “fun” in college — alcohol. It’s the magic liquid that can turn the quietest person into a social butterfly and make the most reserved person want to dance or yell or do something they wouldn’t normally do. It’s that liquid courage that pushes you to talk to the person you’ve been wanting to approach all week, or maybe just to enjoy the night with your friends.

Alcohol has been a part of college culture since at least the 1940s. It’s how many students unwind, celebrate or just find a reason to leave their dorms. But what happens when you choose not to partake? When you don’t drink, does that mean you’re stuck watching Netflix on a Friday night while everyone else is downtown blacking out?

I’ve been the one standing at the sidelines, sober, and I’ve learned more about the college party scene than I ever expected. The culture surrounding drinking is intense — it’s practically unavoidable. “I can’t wait to blackout tonight” is something I hear at least once a week. But on the nights I’ve gone out sober, I’ve started to question whether we’re really having fun or if we’re just escaping reality. Are we using alcohol as an excuse to let go of everything, to just check out for a few hours and lose ourselves in the chaos? If that’s the case, is it even partying anymore, or just stumbling through the night while friends keep a watchful eye to make sure you make it home safely?

The more I observe, the more I realize that drinking doesn’t really come in moderation in college. A single or double drink might be considered “sober,” but anything less than blacking out feels like a waste. There’s this deeply ingrained mindset — what’s the point of drinking if you’re not going all the way? And it makes me ask myself, if I’m not drinking, what am I even doing here? Is it the music? The atmosphere? The people? What’s the real draw of going out?

I realized that the best part of going out has always been the people. If I’m surrounded by friends who can enjoy themselves without needing to be blackout drunk, the night instantly becomes more enjoyable. But there’s always that underlying pressure to match their level of looseness, that desire to feel as carefree as they do. Watching them glide through the night with that liquid courage makes me wonder if I’ll ever be able to find that same sense of freedom without alcohol.

And then there’s the dancing — or, should I say, the lack of dancing. We’ve lost the art of actually dancing. There’s less free-spirited movement like you’d see at parties in the ‘70s or ‘80s. Now, it’s all about mosh pits and frat flicking. Social media and modern rap music probably have something to do with it, but I think the music itself plays a huge role in this shift. Disco music had soul, it had funk, it made you want to move. Rap — while fun to vibe with and sing along to — doesn’t inspire the same kind of dance. Instead, it makes you want to hype up your friends, to jump around and get rowdy, but not really to dance.

But maybe it’s not that college is broken — it’s just built differently. Maybe it’s not even about dancing, but about drinking. And I used to think this was just how it was supposed to be. But then I spent a summer in London, and I saw a completely new approach to party life. There, live music filled the air, and people were dancing, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. The energy was contagious, and this time, it wasn’t fueled by shots — it was just pure, unfiltered fun. That’s the kind of energy I could get behind.

Still, I get that this comparison isn’t entirely fair. College students and people in their late 20s and 30s aren’t exactly the same. Maybe we’re still figuring it all out. Maybe blacking out is just a phase, and a few years from now, we’ll look back and laugh at how we used to think this was the only way to let loose.

But then again, do we even want something different? If we did, wouldn’t we already be trying to break out of this culture? Or is it just easier to fit into the blackout mold? If I could create my ideal college party, it would be one where people actually dance, where the music moves you in a way that doesn’t need alcohol to make you feel alive. Drinking would be optional, not essential.