So, Valentine’s Day has passed and you’re flooded with gifts given to you by your many suitors. In fact, your gifts are so numerous that you don’t know what to do with them — here are some tips.

Flowers

Enjoy them until they dry out, unless you’re allergic to flowers. If you’re allergic, you should probably consider if the person who gave them to you is really a valentine or an enemy trying to get at you. Either way, dry or allergy-inducing, throw them out. Or be creepy and hang up the dried flowers.

Cheap Stuffed Animals with a Heart Motif

Mentally punch the person who gave this to you. Mostly because they probably got it out of a claw machine last minute. Also because what are you supposed to do with stuffed animals after you’re five? Basically, set the gift giver in their place and save it for a younger family member’s birthday, or toss it.

Chocolate

You eat it.

Those Valentines That Literally Cost $1 for a Pack of 50

There are two basic routes you can go for this gift. Option one is to collage the crap out of them. Grab some poster board, or even some regular printer paper and start gluing and cutting them together until you create something that’s quite touching and reminds you of how much your friends and significant other loves you.

I just got cavities from writing that. Anyway, there is a meaner, second option. WARNING: This option requires patience and commitment. What you need to do first is wait for next Valentine’s Day. Next, target your single friend who has the most angst about being single. Then, on the faithful day, grab coffee with them and give them all of your old valentine cards while saying something like, “I know you don’t have anyone special today, so I thought I would pass the love to you, since I’m such a good friend!” Ideally, do this as innocently and with the best valley girl accent you can, and make sure that in the “from” and “to” spots you’ve used white out to write over the old names. Then sit back and enjoy your friend’s face as they glare at you … you should probably also be ready to lose a friend if you go this route.