Iceland, or Ísland, as it is referred to by its 329,000 natives, is a curious place that no one other than Icelanders seems to know much about. It’s a mysterious location to most, despite it being even closer to our shores than any of the British Isles. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until 2010 when the volcano Eyjafjallajökull erupted (halting European air traffic for a week), that people began to pay attention to this overly anglicized island. Since then, Iceland’s economy has boomed, all thanks to tourists’ intrigue with the island’s unique and varying landscape, history with Vikings and natives’ belief in elves and trolls.
Iceland, it turns out, is home to another mysterious novelty: the Icelandic Phallological Museum, located in the center of Reykjavík. Now, before I delve into recounting my regrettably unforgettable and one-of-a-kind experience, I must ask you to stop. Take a moment to consider all the possibilities of what this place could be: A shrine to male genitalia composed through different forms of art; something constructed from the darkest recesses of Sigmund Freud’s mind; a haven of penises. Whatever you’ve considered, you’re wrong. Scrap that image from your mind, and take a seat; you’re going to need it.
The museum is known to house the world’s largest array of penises (over 250) from nearly 100 animal species. This includes a vast collection of whale penises, some of which are nearly as tall as I am (just over 5 feet), a donated human penis as well as penises that supposedly belonged to elves. Many of the penises are resting in jars of formaldehyde, while the others are displayed along the walls of the museum, with appropriately themed toys and figurines peppering the rooms’ cabinets. There are even impressively carved wooden penis lamps and stones arranged in the phallic shape to bring a more natural element to the collection.
The museum was founded by Sigurður Hjartarson and its ownership has been passed on to his son, Hjörtur Gísli Sigurðsson, who also runs the ticket booth and register of the gift shop. The shop features novelties such as a statue of a flashing man, phallic-shaped ball scratchers and a shirt with an appropriate, “this museum is not for pussies” slogan. So if you’re ever in the Reykjavík area and would prefer to look at animal genitalia over the beautiful mountains in the distance, Sigurðsson would love to have you.