You’re downtown, and why? Because State Street is the place to be when you want to get away from the rigors of class and overbearing professors. Well, there is Late Nite Binghamton, but their beer selection is decidedly poor, and that’s what this is about: beer (no surprise there)!

Next time you’re bar hopping on State Street, perhaps you’d like to forgo the rum-and-cokes and Blackhaus shots. Forgo, as well, all those pale, yellow, fizzy flavorless beers with no character. You’ve got character, and so should your beer. Think about what it says about you when you buy a Bud Light. It just screams, “Hey, I’m bland! I’ll take whatever I can get, and I want quantity over quality!”

Maybe whatever dude or lady you’ve got your sights set on won’t pick up on the subtleties of your beer selection, but maybe they will, and when that happens, don’t say I didn’t warn you. State Street has a surprisingly good selection of flavorful beers, with special glassware to boot! When you’re carrying around a chalice full of brown liquid, people are going to talk to you (trust me). Here’s a short list of good beers, and where they’re available. Use it wisely and you may just end up sleeping with me one Saturday night.

Saranac Pale Ale

Where to find it: Sports Bar (on tap)

A fairly local brew, Saranac Pale Ale is a fine, refreshing beer. It’s amber in color, with a smell that is light, non-assertive, but pleasant. It’s got mild hop characteristics that blend well with the malts, making this a well balanced, easily drinkable beer. With its alcohol at 5.5 percent, it’s okay to indulge a little.

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

Where to find it: Sports Bar (on tap), Tom & Marty’s, and Uncle Tony’s

For those who haven’t tried this omnipresent beer, here’s a brief description. It’s a lager, which, due to the yeast used and the longer fermentation period, has a clean, crisp taste. It smells sweet, with hints of caramel. The taste is clean, with sweetness at the forefront and hop bitterness at the end. It’s 4.75 percent alcohol. Drink up.

Hoegaarden

Where to find it: Sports Bar (on tap)

Hoegaarden on tap? Thank you much. I talked about this one in a previous column about witbiers, but it bears repeating. Hoegaarden is straw-yellow and cloudy. It smells spicy and sweet. Tastes like liquid heaven, with hints of bananas, lemons and spices. It’s 5 percent alcohol, damn refreshing, and $4 for a pint. When it’s a choice between a $4 pint of this delicious Belgian beer, or a $3.75 Miller Lite, well, I don’t even have to finish my thought. Get some, dammit.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Where to find it: Sports Bar, Dillinger’s

An old favorite, SNPA is a hoppy beer. It’s orange/red in color. It smells of citrus and pine, very raw and unrefined. The taste is very bitter for those who aren’t used to a generous helping of hops in their beer. Once you get used to it, you notice hints of grapefruit, herbs and various floral characteristics. An underlying sweetness doesn’t quite balance it out, but it does offset the copious amount of hops a little. 5.6 percent alcohol: you know the drill.

Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout

Where to find it: Sports Bar

This is a great alternative to Guinness. It pours a true black, as opposed to the dark ruby of Guinness, and has a tan, creamy head. Something in the smell hints at smoked meat. It may sound weird, but it’s a good smell, really! It’s not the only one though, as there are plenty of coffee-like aromas and some leafy hops as well. The taste starts out fairly hoppy, with some vinous flavors and a bitter earthiness. Then there are the malts, of which there are many. Coffee, chocolate and the sweet, sweet oatmeal that make a stout oh so good are all there, in mass quantities and done to perfection. It finishes a bit tart, but it’s super-creamy and smooth. 5 percent alcohol, whoopee! Buy 12!

Abita Purple Haze

Where to find it: Dillinger’s

Truth be told, I’ve never tried this. It’s a fruit beer. It has raspberries in it. I just can’t do it. Regardless, it is a wheat beer as well, so I can dig that. I know people who swear by this, so it’s all good in the Binghamton hood. It’s brewed down in Louisiana, so technically, by buying this beer, you are helping them in their time of need (read: Katrina). I’m not sure of the alcohol, but it’s light. Pick some up if you think you’ll like berries in your beer (I really didn’t need to taste it to tell you all that).

Unibroue La Fin Du Monde & Maudite

Where to find them: Dillinger’s

Here’s a special treat from everyone’s favorite group: French Canadians! When they’re not boasting about having the second most successful sports franchise in history, they’re actually making some damn fine Belgian-style ales. Both these behemoths are high in alcohol, so drink wisely. La Fin Du Monde is an example of a Belgian Strong Pale Ale, and like its name suggests, it’s golden in color. It smells sweet and fruity, with hints of flowers and potpourri (ah, the French). This is tart and sweet, sometimes like a wine, but with a lot of spices and yeast. Mild hops in the finish.

Maudite, on the other hand, is a Belgian Strong Dark Ale, and the difference in color should be apparent. Expect a lot of aromas and flavors with this one. Infinitely complicated, it’s almost impossible to figure out what’s going on. While sipping it, there are hints of ripe fruits, dried fruits, more fruits, fruity fruit fruits and spices. Did I mention fruits? Don’t worry, it’s all very subtle and there aren’t any actual fruits in there, thankfully. La Fin Du Monde and Maudite weigh in at 9 percent and 8 percent alcohol, respectively. Let one of these be a nightcap, and for the love of God, sip it. Ask for a glass and you’ll probably get a kick-ass chalice, so you can look like a king while you sip your tasty, super strong beer.

Lindemans Kriek and Framboise Lambic

Where to find them: Dillinger’s

First off, kriek means cherry and framboise means raspberry. Without even getting into what Lambics are, let it be said these are probably the fanciest beers you’ll find Downtown, if not anywhere else. Lambics are a Belgian style of beer that are fermented using just the shit floating in the air around it, and by whatever miracle of biology and chemistry, this makes them ever so tart. When you throw in fruit while it’s fermenting, it makes for a weird, wild experience. These are not for everyone, and you certainly won’t find me drinking them Downtown. I’d rather have some as dessert after a big dinner than drink it in a crowded bar, but the option is there. Certainly you must be adventurous to try this out. You may wonder why I won’t drink other fruit beers, but I would try this. It’s simple: I’m an asshole. That, and this was made in such a weird way that the fruit actually enhances the experience rather than detracts from it. They’re low in alcohol, about 4 percent, so give one a try. It’s a strange style but hey, at least you can say you tried it, right?

Well that about wraps things up. I hope this inspires some of you to cast aside the corporate beer shackles and try something new. Most likely everyone reading this thinks I’m just a drunk snob with too much time on his hands, which is mostly right. Still, if I can get through to just that one person, then everything was worth it!

As a final note: tastes are all subjective. The above descriptions are taken from my personal experiences. You may agree, disagree or not care at all. That’s fine. Half the fun of trying new beers is seeing what you like and what you don’t. Form your own opinions, have fun, and let somebody sober drive you home. Cheers!