Pornography is a taboo subject that most people do not like to discuss, yet have usually explored at one time or another. According to Psychology Today, nearly 12 percent of all Internet traffic is people seeking out porn. However, finding people willing to disclose their experiences with porn is extremely hard to do.
But now that we know that people are watching it, the question is: How much does viewing porn affect one’s life?
Binghamton University Professor Justin Garcia, a SUNY doctoral fellow in the biology department, teaches a course called Human Sexuality and is a scientific adviser to the online dating site www.Match.com. He explained that since the visual cortex in our brain is linked to sexual arousal, an interest in pornography is not surprising.
“In my opinion the consumption of pornography in America, a multi-billion dollar industry, has a profound influence on love and sex. Watching pornography, like all forms of media consumption, can have influences on our personal lives — including our sexual and romantic relationships,” Garcia said.
Some argue that watching porn can create unrealistic expectations in one’s own sex life, but Mark*, a junior at Binghamton University, disagrees. He feels that watching porn has no bearing on a person’s sex life other than making them want to have sex.
“Sex is great,” Mark said. “Just seeing people have sex obviously gets people aroused. If anything, [porn] is more satisfying because you learn how to do things differently.”
Nick*, a sophomore, said he also felt watching porn has hardly any impact.
“A porn scene offers temporary enjoyment to people wanting to get a bit more in touch with their sexual side, or for people who are already in touch, but want to take it a step further,” he explained.
Ryan*, a freshman, feels that pornography is gratifying, but it can’t beat the real thing.
“If you understand that porn is only for entertainment and not something to emulate in real life, then I don’t think sex with a person is any less satisfying,” he said. “I think sex with a person you know in real life is more satisfying because you can share that intimacy with them and see what they like.”
He also said that watching porn helps people get more creative ideas for positions to try during sex with a partner that they may have never thought of or just did not know were possible.
“Of course there’s still a lot of unrealistic over-the-top things in porn that just aren’t meant to actually happen in any real situation, so watching [it] can’t help you figure out what positions your partner likes,” Ryan said. “Sometimes you wont know until you try.”
Meghan*, a senior majoring in mechanical engineering, feels that porn tends to be male-centric and may not always be best for the girl.
“The positions in porn are appealing to see, but not often pleasurable,” Meghan said. “I think it’s more effective to actually try things out with your partner and have open communication to talk about what feels the best.”
Meghan feels that watching pornography can sometimes put a damper on a couple’s sex life, but is something that varies with each person.
“Finding out that your boyfriend looks at porn makes you, as a girlfriend, feel less desirable and as if you aren’t good enough so they had to look at something else,” Meghan said. “I personally don’t like it, but I know a lot of couples that watch it together and really like it. It definitely depends on the couple.”
Garcia believes that pornography can be helpful, but literally translating those scenarios into your own sex life can become unrealistic and a problem.
“While some people may find pornography satisfying, it can often put false expectations and derogatory desires into one’s mind,” Garcia said. “This can often result in pornographic literalism, where [young] people take their cues on sex from pornography, expecting and trying to make their own sex lives mirror these scripts — these are unreasonable expectations and can lead to myriad problems in one’s sex life. “
Problems include being less into sex with your partner or not putting enough time into foreplay and romance. The most important thing to realize, though, is what constitutes healthy sexuality.
“Healthy sexuality is not about having power differentials or earth shattering sexual experiences,” Garcia said. “Healthy sexuality is about having mutually enjoyable experiences that both partners willingly engage in and both partners experience physical and emotional pleasure.”
* Names have been changed to protect the identity of those mentioned in the story.