Where in Binghamton can you go to feed a family for under $5 and potentially get shot? I know what you are thinking, and no, the answer is not Club Ranelle. It’s Kennedy’s Fried Chicken (K’sFC), where there is a direct correlation between price and quality.

Many people believe that the true “Binghamton Experience” is gained by a trip to State Street or Wal-Mart, but they are sadly mistaken. You’ll make memories to last you a lifetime at K’sFC.

I’ll never forget my first visit to Kennedy’s. It happened around 2 a.m. last spring after a night of athletic prowess on the beer pong table. I walked in and was immediately taken aback by the bulletproof glass that stood between me and the smiling man behind the counter who was smeared with chicken grease.

This man was a modern-day Mary Poppins. He could procure anything I demanded of him from inside of his bulletproof sanctuary. Some greased up chicken wings? “No problem.” A box of Newport Lights? “That’ll be $5.” I bet you can’t score me some drugs? “Well I can’t, but there is a guy around back who can help you out.”

As I sat marveling over a pizza roll at what a fine establishment K’sFC was, who strolled in but ex-Bearcat hoops legend Nick Billings. He staggered his way to the front of the line and managed to slur, “Give me a dozen wing things, NOW.”

The time it took for him to inhale his chicken was about the same amount that his trip to the NBA developmental league lasted. Before I could finish saying, “7-foot-tall Alaskan Pipeline,” he was gone.

The next week, my friend Todd had a hankering for some fried chicken, so he headed over to Binghamton’s chicken capital. He walked in and saw a man stabbing someone over a spot in line. Imagine how delectable the chicken is if it’s worth killing a man for it.

I laid low for a while after that trying to fill the void with Kentucky Fried Chicken, but to no avail. The other week I worked up the courage to go back to my beloved K’sFC. While online, dreaming of some beef patties, a man with one googley eye who was clearly pushing 80 looked over at me. He smeared oil off of his left cheek with the sleeve of his red and black lumberjack (with the hat to match) and said, “This is some damn good chicken!” I was home.

Sure Kennedy’s Fried may not be where you take someone for a romantic date — Number 5 reserves that right — but where else can you get an egg roll that is pizza flavored? Before you leave Binghamton do yourself a favor and take a chance on K’sFC. Just make sure you don’t fight over a spot in line. The bullet wounds are an extra $1.50 a pop.

Erica Fritz is a junior psychology/pre-med major and is a better beer pong player than you.