My freshman year, I primarily hung out with a group of girls whose aim Downtown was to get hit on by as many guys as they could. It wasn’t very hard for us to get attention. We were, I’m sorry to admit, those quintessential freshman girls who got ridiculously dolled up, walked around like we were the shit because we got into a bar underage, made eyes at all the guys we saw and danced in a big circle until, eventually, someone cute started dancing with us.

My sophomore year was a completely different story. I met my boyfriend and started to hang out with a lot of his friends. Soon enough that same year, all my friends got boyfriends of their own. When we began going Downtown with them, or even with each other, we no longer had to vie for guys’ attention and found we had a much more pleasant time without all the nervous tension and pressure of making ourselves noticed.

I realized that once I chilled out on an outing to State Street, I got the same amount of attention, but this time from people who actually wanted to come up and talk to me because they found my laid-back appearance and attitude more approachable. Instead of the occasional asshole that was interested in grinding up behind me for a while and then leaving (or while he was leaving attempt to take me home, depending on his level of schmuck-ness), I had the chance to talk to more interesting and substantial people.

Feeling like you’re hot and desirable is really fun every now and then, and usually makes for a pretty decent night Downtown, but if any of you girls out there are looking for a relationship, or even a guy to kick it with for longer than one night of probably meaningless sex, you’re certainly not going to find him while strutting your sexy self in the middle of the Rat.

The key to finding a guy and keeping him depends more on the whole package than the image you attempt to project when you’re out. You can look great, but despite what you may think about the shallowness of guys, chances are they’re looking for more than just a pretty face (if of course they’re interested in settling down, also a major factor).

I certainly didn’t meet my boyfriend Downtown — in fact, none of my friends did. They all met their mates upon introduction by other friends or at house parties where talking and just hanging out (as opposed to grinding and sweating on each other) were the main focuses of the night.

A boyfriend is someone you can talk to, respect and build a friendship with. If you’re interested in that, then make friends, meet people and don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t make the mistake my friends and I made, thinking we’d find our Prince Charmings dancing on a pole and caked with makeup. Chances are the only people you’ll attract that way are douchebags.