I’ve been told that “The OC” is a very good show. Honestly, I wouldn’t know too much about it because I run screaming from the room every time I hear the Phantom Planet song that has been ruined forever. In any case, recent events have led me to ponder the rise of sappy, lame teenage soap operas. I suppose that was redundant. Work with me.

My observational research shows that there is a strong connection between love-life depravity and the viewers of these shows. Plainly put, these shows act just like Jerry Springer or Maury — by watching the antics of the oldest looking high schoolers I have ever seen, we feel better about ourselves. Which, I guess, serves a purpose.

Unfortunately, these shows (besides being a travesty in the realm of human intelligence) prevent people from actually going out and living their lives. “That’s ridiculous,” you say. “No one is giving anything up by watching TV — everyone does it.” Rather than go for the oh-so-easy “Would you jump off a bridge just because everyone else did?” (note: This is not Cornell), I will explain why I feel this way.

It is quite the measure of our maturity that a huge craze with college students involves watching the tangled lives of some high school kids unfold, while in the meantime, these same tormented teens’ parents undergo every textbook dramatization to the nth power. Not to offend anyone, but if your life has ever resembled a scene from “The OC,” I recommend therapy.

Unfortunately, the parts of “real life” shows like Laguna Beach that I’ve been subjected to are about just as high quality. I don’t think it’s the best idea to present any of these shows as if they’re even remotely realistic, which, while perhaps not an issue for people in college, is most certainly the case for the 10-14 age set that idolizes the show as well. I hope that ruined it for you.

But I digress. My main point, to keep with a Valentine’s Day sort of theme, is that the only way you’re going to find some love (or whatever degree of booty call you’re after) is if you get your butt up from in front of your complete-season-everything DVD collection and do something. Watching all these shows seems to evince an alarming trend towards unhappiness in relationships. Everyone likes a little entertainment, but if the only shows that are doing well in the ratings are the ones that show you what no one’s life is ever going to be (but make it look like it’s possible), there might be a growing problem. I get that television is supposed to take you away from your life, but if you’re going to go that route, at least look for a plot that doesn’t resemble the middle school drama everyone always claims to hate.

On the plus side, I’ll gladly admit that “The OC” is a step up from the past. Now that my friends have finished all however many seasons of “The OC” there are, they’ve regressed to Dawson’s Creek. Words cannot express…

Molly Arrioti is a freshman political science major.