I’ve become excessively tired of being called a hick from upstate, and I intend to set the record straight with a small geography lesson. If we look at a map of New York (I am here referring to the ENTIRE state, for those of you who consider New York to be a reference only to the city), we see that New York City lies in the very bottom-most, barely New York, tiny right-hand corner. Long Island, you’re only New York because no one else wanted you. You’re the bastard child of New Jersey and Connecticut.

Next, observe Binghamton. It is barely across the New York-Pennsylvania line. It is not upstate. Southern New York, and regions such as… the Southern Tier… which include Binghamton, Vestal and all the places a Binghamton student might typically end up accidentally, are by no means to be referred to as “upstate.” Upstate has to, by its very nature, be “up” in the “state.” However, “up” in the “state” should not be confused with central.

Locate Syracuse. Examine the parameters of New York State’s boundaries. Note the central location of Syracuse. This, my friends, is more or less where I’m from. It is not upstate. It is central New York. Now, while some of you digest this little tidbit of geography (which I’m sure has upended your entire conception of the world and its geographic structures), I will proceed to point out various aspects of New York State geography that apparently you didn’t learn in fourth grade when I was learning about this state’s apple-growing enterprises.

Look to the far left of the state. Locate Buffalo and Rochester. This is Western New York. It snows a lot because of all those lakes. In the far-eastern part of New York you will see places like Albany (which, you may not have realized, is technically the capital of this state; sorry to burst your bubble, I’m not saying it was a good idea, but hey, I’m just the messenger). No one really talks about some of those places, but they aren’t really upstate either. They’re just west and east.

Now we get to the fun part. Upstate, my quaint little city friends, is above Syracuse by significant distances. I here include places like Oswego, Boonville (I mean, look at the name!), Plattsburg and any part of the Adirondacks. Those places constitute a place which, in fact, is upstate. In fact, they even call Plattsburg “the North Country.”

Upstate is not to be used as relative terminology. The term itself is a powerful one, and those of you currently applying it to such locations as Syracuse, Binghamton and, unfortunately, even Westchester, need to be more aware of the potential impact of your words. And by impact, I mean what will happen when I slam you into the nearest solid object the next time you tell me I have an “eccent” or ask me to get a “flARida ARange” out of your “draw.”

Molly Ariotti is a freshman political science and geography major.