That’ll do pig

This past Sunday was the first day of Russia’s annual “Pig Olympics.” An international assortment of porcine athletes competed in events such as pig-racing, pig-swimming and “pigball.” According to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, “In pigball, contestants chase a sweet-tasting soccer ball around an enclosed arena with their snouts, scoring when the ball goes into a goal.” Alexei Sharshkov, vice president of the Sport-Pig Federation, says that the Pig Olympics are humane, and noted that the pigs “go on to produce a new generation of sport pigs. They don’t get eaten.”

Jailhouse Rock

Robert Sillerman is cracking down on Elvis impersonators. Sillerman, a billionaire who owns the rights to Elvis’ name and likeness, “intends to open an interactive Elvis exhibit and huge Elvis-themed cabaret show on the Las Vegas Strip,” according to the British Newspaper, the Times. Unfortunately for independent Elvis impersonators, once the project is complete, Sillerman hinted that he would pursue litigation against “unauthorised Elvis impersonators.”

Catch me if you can (reprise)

Philip Winikoff, a 76-year-old Miami man, went door-to-door offering free breast exams Wednesday. According to the Reuters News Service, Winikoff told women that he was providing the free service in conjunction with a local hospital. Winikoff was apprehended by Broward County police after he aroused one woman’s suspicions by performing a “genital exam” without wearing rubber gloves. He is being charged on two counts of sexual assault.

Courtesy flush

A cleaning company employee in Kiel, Germany, was called by city officials to unclog a pipe, but was surprised to find the source of the blockage – money. MSNBC reported Thursday that a 64-year-old retiree who thought that his German marks no longer had any value since Germany now uses the euro flushed them down the toilet, all $30,000 (US$18,900). Police escorted the man to a bank where he deposited the recovered money.

Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything

Koh Tian Lin, a 25-year-old computer industry worker from Singapore, was rescued from a freezing car in Japan, the Agence France-Presse reported Saturday. Lin had been searching for a secret karate book which his father asked him to find as he lay on his deathbed. Lin’s father revealed little about the book, but mentioned that it belonged to a karate master whose name sounded like “Soma.” The master, Shoen Fukuda, 61, heard about Lin and remembered teaching his father. Fukuda, “impressed by the deep bond between Mr. Koh and his father, granted him an honorary certificate as karate master,” however he would not relinquish the secret karate book.