I’ve been dealing with male Binghamton students for two years now and I’d like to think I’ve learned a thing or two about them. First off, most guys around here (underclassmen in particular), despite what they say on their Facebook profile, want “random play.” The idea of being tied down to one girl does not interest these guys who walk into a bar and are instantly hounded by drunk freshman girls lacking underwear.

This year, at least among my friends, it seems like Cupid has gone a little trigger happy and in my tight group of five, all but one (who’s a little crazy anyway) has herself a steady boy-toy.

I was once talking to my friend about cows (don’t ask) and he told me that winter is the season they all cozy up and begin to make babies. It certainly explained the coupling off among my friends. With all of them going out on their dates and spending time in boys’ rooms, I found myself a little lonely.

It wasn’t long until I asked a friend of mine to set me up and she speedily delivered. His name is um, geez, what did he want me to call him…Buffalo Bill? OK, Bill. Bill and I began hanging out about four weeks ago. That first night I found I could talk to him about almost anything: politics, movies, weird dreams from the night before — he even laughed at my jokes. It seemed perfect.

I’m not going to tell you how many days he had to wait to get me in his room (one), but he did. The conversation was flowing, his black light was on and a movie was playing. The talking got quieter; the got cuddling heavier. Let me tell you, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

The five minutes of sitting together before you both know the first kiss is coming is god-awful.

After what felt like an eternity (three minutes), I lifted my head to look at him.

He was asleep.

Now, I don’t mean to sound cocky, but I had just been downtown and looked pretty damn good. I certainly made it clear I was interested. Everything, I thought, was going well. Seriously… what the crap?

Was he a narcoleptic or had simply gotten too fucked up to stay awake?

Everybody has their “thing” — I have come to terms with this, and all my friends’ guys certainly do, but I wasn’t sure I could deal with a guy whose “thing” was falling asleep.

I rolled my eyes and went to bed. We awoke together about 12 hours later and when he dropped me off in my room. I knew I had a serious decision to make: Was I going to let his narcoleptic tendencies dissuade me from ever seeing him again?

He called me the next night. Though I had been laughing with my girlfriends about him all day, I found I was excited to hear from him. I answered the phone and I decided I was going to see where this goes.

Finding a guy that’s gonna fall asleep on you when he’s got you in his bed is rare (and weird). Finding a guy around here that’s not in it for the random play and is gonna call you the next day, well that’s rarer.

Micol Zweig is a sophomore English and Arabic major