NAR-cis-sism, adj.: inordinate fascination with one’s self; excessive self-love; vanity.

I loathe having to join the ranks of the ranters in Pipe Dream’s illustrious Opinion section, as I try my best to offer tempered, reasonable insight into world affairs and toilet humor. However, I have absolutely reached wits’ end with one particular pervasive, socially and ethically repugnant activity that needs to be reined in: the immoderate quantity and content of pictures taken, primarily, but not necessarily, by high school- to college-aged girls whenever they seem to assemble in groups numbering greater than two.

I know a particular girl who posted 545 (yes 545, that’s no typo) pictures of herself on Facebook … before she matriculated in college.

To make matters even more objectionable, I see AIM away and profile messages advertising “pictures from last night posted!!!” … obviously because the Associated Press and New York Times are anxiously waiting for a meaty, substantive picture that really captures important things. Because Facebook’s automatically telling everyone that those pictures have been posted is inadequate coverage of your monumental triumph.

The WORST incidents can be observed during any casual night out. You’ve all seen it: in numbers ranging from four to five, individuals get together; the one with the longest arms reaches out with a turned-around camera to snap a group shot, which is immediately followed by everyone clamoring for position around a one-by-one-inch LCD screen to see if their cleavage or biceps were favorably captured.

I am not angered by many things, but this absolutely makes me pop my top. Can somebody please explain to me how this came to be socially acceptable? Perhaps whatever social compass dictates moral behavior has not caught up to technology that allows for little LCD screens.

This is pure, unbridled narcissism at its worst. The notions of subtlety and understatement seem to be as anachronistic as people actually hanging out instead of Web camming, filed away in the vault of decency in favor of “new pics!!! Check it out!!!”

What exactly am I checking out? Forty-six pictures of you and your friends puckering your lips at a camera?

This is at best social prostitution, at worst a pandemic of self-esteem voids. I am going to clue in all of the culprits of this on one incontestable fact of the universe: the more of anything there is, the less value each individual unit has. In this case, overexposing yourself with online photo albums cheapens your image, makes you looks stupid and makes me much less inclined to take an interest in you.