Blowing Cock

“I breathed into its beak, and its dad-gum eyes popped open,” Marian Morris of Arkadelphia, Ark, said, explaining how she performed CPR on her brother’s exotic chicken, Boo Boo. According to the Associated Press, Morris found Boo Boo face down in a pond.

Hasselhoff Would Be Ashamed

Police in Eschwege, Germany, were surprised to find that a man that they had just booked for burglary had walked out of the station unnoticed and stolen a patrol car, ABC reported Thursday. In the ensuing chase, three patrol cars were damaged. A police spokesperson described the incident as “embarassing”.

Cherry. Pop.

According to WKMG-TV of Central Florida, makers of a new soda, called Turn On, claim that it makes those who drink it sexually aroused. The drink, which will be in stores in nationwide “soon” has been banned in France and Denmark. However, Turn On’s makers insist that the drink, which tastes like cherry, is not only an aphrodisiac, but safe as well.

Manslaughter. That’s What the Steeler’s Do, Right?

Judge Beverly G. Grant of the Pierce County Superior Court, in Washington State, was just about to start a manslaughter sentencing hearing last week, when, according to KDKA-TV Pittsburgh, she decided to first lead the courtroom in a cheer of “Go Seahawks!” She then proceeded to sentence Steve Keo Teang to 13 1/2 years in prison.

What Happens When Mr. T Drives a Bus

The Kansas City Star reported Thursday that a Philadelphia bus driver was yelled at by a woman for missing her stop. He responded by knocking her head into a pole, opening the bus’ door and throwing her into traffic. The driver was arraigned Thursday on aggravated assault and other charges.

— Compiled by Graham Kates