Heaven isn’t too far away

The Milky Way is home to the sun, Pluto, Binghamton University … and alcohol. “Astronomers say they have spotted a cloud of alcohol in deep space that measures 463 billion kilometers [approximately 287.7 billion miles] across,” the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reported on Tuesday. The cloud is in a region of our galaxy called “W3(OH),” where new stars are being formed.

Turkey run

Police in Newport, Ky. have a turkey problem, and her name is Wandering Wanda. According to CNN, Wanda, a wild turkey, has been roaming the streets of this Cincinnati suburb for over two months, despite repeated attempts by both police and locals to catch her. Wanda’s assailants use nets and blankets to try to trap her, but she has evaded every attempt.

Out in a Jif

The Tennessee prison system will be returning 4,600 18-oz. jars of peanut butter, according to USAToday. Last year, George Hyatt, a prisoner in Knoxville, used a cell phone which was delivered to him in a jar of peanut butter to orchestrate a breakout. That incident tipped prison officials off to the fact that the jars were regularly being used for “hiding guns, drugs and cell phones.”

Kramer would be proud

Reuters reported Wednesday that a teenager from Timaru, New Zealand, took a new car for a test drive. Unfortunately for the dealer, it was a 500 kilometer [310.7 miles] test drive. The boy kept the car for an entire weekend before returning it. Police said that the boy would not be charged, because “the owner did not stipulate any conditions for the test drive.”