LOCK: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-7 1/2) over Cincinnati Bengals: I hate to say it, I really do, but New England’s a runaway train. One that can very easily run over the Cinci Convicts’ defense. If only Chad Johnson could guard Randy Moss ‘ you know, you could do that in Madden ’04.

NEW YORK JETS (-3 1/2) over Buffalo Bills: It’s not because I’m from New York City and thus a Jets fan who hates anything that exists upstate, never mind a divisional rival. It’s because the Bills are awful.

GREEN BAY PACKERS (-3) over Minnesota Vikings: I could be prematurely jumping on the Favre bandwagon ‘ you might even call last week’s win lucky. But what do the Vikings have that’s so great? I shouldn’t be picking so many favorites, though, I got screwed by the line last week ‘

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (+12) over San Diego Chargers: Speaking of screwed, my man Dougie, do you know what beef is? And for this pick, no lying here: I just got HBO and ‘Hard Knocks’ is an amazing show, so how am I not going to take KC? Plus, I like the spread.