EastChester?

TUESDAY, FEB. 13, 8 p.m. ‘ A male, who identified himself as ‘Chester the Molester’ was talking to himself and making ‘bizarre claims’ to females in the Old University Union’s East Lounge, said Investigator Dennis P. Bush of Binghamton’s New York State University Police. ‘He’d walk up to them and ask if they would date him,’ Bush said. When officers arrived at the scene, the suspect had already left. Police couldn’t gather a positive ID of the suspect, but know he was wearing a Duke University T-shirt.

What becomes of the broke-n hearted?

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 14, 4:25 p.m. ‘ A 19-year-old female Binghamton student left her shoulder bag unattended near the group study rooms on the fourth floor of the Glenn G. Bartle Library this Valentine’s Day. When she returned a few minutes later, her bag had been stolen. She reported missing her ID, proximity card, money, debit card, credit card and driver’s license. Police have no suspects.

Flash of conscience

THURSDAY, FEB. 15, 5:25 p.m. ‘ A 36-year-old female Binghamton student reported that her flash drive was stolen while she was in the Science Library, according to Investigator Bush. Someone had returned it to the circulation desk. All of the victim’s files were deleted except for an anonymous apology letter. ‘Sorry for deleting all your files,’ read the letter, ‘but I had a change of heart.’

Unidentified driving object

THURSDAY, FEB. 15, 8:07 p.m. ‘ Binghamton’s New York State University Police stopped a 26-year-old male, who works on campus, for speeding on the West Drive. Police realized that the license plate on the suspect’s 2001 Mercury Mountaineer was not his and in fact there were no plates assigned to the vehicle. When questioned, ‘[the suspect] claimed he did not know how the license plate on his car got there,’ Bush said. The actual owner of the plate had reported that one of his plates had gone missing in October, ‘coincidentally around the same time [the suspect’s license was] suspended.’ The owner turned in his other license plate to the DMV. The suspect was issued a ticket and released. Bush couldn’t offer the suspect’s court appearance date.