I am a part of a group of individuals who feel like they have been wronged for quite a while. This mass feels like they have been taunted, teased and most definitely not pleased. They get all worked up and then end up frustrated, agitated and maybe mildly constipated. These people understand that it can strike at any time, whether in the middle of an ‘I Love New York’ episode or even while watching ‘The Golden Girls,’ it can happen ‘ and you will be fooled every time.

Pavlov’s dog salivated to a bell, and we the people have been salivating to one freaking huge bell, but we never get our kibbles.

I have always felt like I was alone in my agony, until I discovered a Facebook group that cared (yes, they do exist). Now I must pass on the support, and open my arms to whomever has felt the same pain. The group I have joined is titled ‘People who are tired of being blue balled by Sonic Drive-in Comercials.’ So the creator can’t spell ‘ it must be because he is so flustered by the lack of Sonic, that it has gone to his brain.

Sonic commercials (and no, I’m not talking about a blue hedgehog on speed) showcase Sonic, a delicious drive-through/eat-in tasty slushy heaven and fast food haven. Yum? Tasty? Let’s blast some Tupac and take a drive there? No, we can’t ‘ the problem is that there are none around here, not even for 100 miles. So when the forbidden fruit pops up, right in front of your face, dangling on a fishing line, you will not be able to have that cherry limeade ‘ unless of course you want to take a nice road trip to Florida.

Ironically, Sonic is known as ‘America’s Drive-in.’ Yeah ‘ I guess we never really counted anyway. But hey, you can name an establishment anything you want (freedom of speech, you know). But now, can someone please tell me, inform me, let me know ‘ why are there Sonic commercials up the wazoo (yes, wazoo ‘ aka derri√É®re) where Sonic does not exist?

It just does not make any sense. I initially thought that maybe there would be a slew of them a couple of months after the commercials started prostituting themselves all over the place ‘ but sadly, I was wrong. So I thought that maybe I haven’t been looking in the right places. Maybe Sonic is not right up the corner, but in fact a 30-minute drive away. I figured this was possible and even reasonable. So I have gone on the Sonic Web site. I have typed in our area code. I have chosen the maximum 150-mile radius (just to be safe).

Results: The closest Sonic that we have is 133.35 miles away in Morgantown, Pa.

That’s a big ‘WTF mate’ right there. It’s absurd to travel around three hours in search of a particular fast food drive-in. I believe even Kumar would have been pissed off.

So what do we do? We continue to survive, as Sonic continues to slap us in the face, cheating us of its goodness, showing us a peep show of what’s never to come. But don’t be a daydreamer ‘ Sonic commercials need not creep up on you and mislead you to believe the unbelievable, comrades. Keep an eye out, and maybe one day ‘ one glorious day ‘

‘ Nicole Zimmerman is a sophomore psychology major. She always has false hope when a Sonic commercial sneaks up.