I was walking on the Nautical Mile over spring break. For the non-Long Islanders out there (apparently there are some here at Binghamton), the Nautical Mile is a strip of restaurants all involving, you guessed it, seafood. Right out of a Billy Joel song, it’s quite the place to go out to dinner if you want to smooch and watch the sun set.

I was there with my family, but a telephone call gave me an excuse to go for brief walk on the docks. Once my call was done, though, I overheard a conversation (a slightly heated one, that is), between a guy and a girl. The girl was adamantly stating to her gentleman friend (I’m assuming her boyfriend) that it is ‘the little things that count,’ something he adamantly disagreed with. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable at overhearing the slew of profanities that followed, I sneaked back to the restaurant as subtly as possible.

But it did get me thinking. A few recent events in my life have consistently garnered one of the two following contradictory responses: ‘Well, it is the little things that matter,’ but also ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff, put things in perspective.’

Well which is it? Someone doesn’t call you when they are supposed to. Does that mean they don’t appreciate the small things, that this seemingly act of forgetfulness is actually masking a deep-rooted inconsideration ‘ that they really don’t care about you? Or, did they just forget? That it’s really not a big deal, and in the grand scheme of things, who cares about a phone call?

It is supposed to be the little things in life that matter. But if you spend all your time flipping out about the small things, missed calls and careless comments, then you wont have any energy left for the big things. There are such bigger things out there than missed parties or outings, right? There are events in your life which are really hard.

So if people are there for you for the big things, but not the small ones, where does it leave you? You could call someone up at three in the morning, hysterically crying over something devastating, and they would be there. But when it comes to something small, like a movie, they flake out like no tomorrow.

I wondered about this for a while, but then it occurred to me that you need both: that you shouldn’t have to sweat the small things because they should go without saying, and also that people shouldn’t put you in a position of having to put it all in perspective. However, finding both is proving to be quite the challenge. So maybe that’s why you need a few people in your life: some for the small things and others for the bigger picture.