Binghamton is known for carousels, spiedies and its large Bearcat population. America East women’s basketball is known for exciting games, high level of play and unpredictable finishes.
We’re about to find out if the two can coexist.
The Events Center plays host to the AE women’s championship this weekend, giving the rabid fans of the Parlor City a chance to see all the teams at once.
And who wouldn’t want to see all these teams at once? Hartford, one of the top teams in the country, already knocked off two nationally ranked teams this season and pulled an upset in the first round of the NCAA tournament last season. Remarkably, the Hawks are not even the overwhelming favorites in the tournament.
Stony Brook, a team that made the NIT last season, is ranked 81st in the country in RPI and lost just twice in AE play, both times to Hartford.
And let’s not forget about the Vermont Catamounts, the only team to defeat Hartford all season. Or the Binghamton Bearcats, who hope to use arguably the best home-court advantage in the conference to lead them to a title.
With so many variables, how does one go about picking a winner?
By mascot, of course.
Mascots have played a key role in the previous tournaments in Vestal. Who can forget the 2005 men’s tournament, when Wolfie, Stony Brook’s fun-loving mascot, clothes-lined the far weaker NCAA mascot J.J. Jumper and sent him off on a stretcher?
Will Wolfie be enough to lead SBU this weekend? We’re about to find out.
Play-in game:
New Hampshire Wildcats vs. Albany Great Danes
What a mascot showdown to start things off. The quick-skilled hunting Wildcat versus the noble mystery-solving Dane. Wildcats are notoriously afraid of humans and become timid when threatened. The large and lovable Great Dane should use this one to its advantage and escape past, as long as no pirate ghosts show up to distract the Dane into some mystery solving.
Quarterfinals:
UMBC Retrievers vs. Stony Brook Seawolves
Another fantastic matchup. A strength of the Retriever is its ability to swim, but that won’t help it against the mystical amphibious Sea Wolf, which can survive both on land and at sea. The loyalty and spunk of the Retriever just won’t be enough thanks to the Sea Wolf’s versatility. Also, I think a Sea Wolf might have magic powers, so that could hurt the Retriever.
Vermont Catamounts vs. Maine Black Bears
This is a tough call here. It took some research, but I learned that a Catamount is not a half-mountain half-cat as I originally thought, but a cougar. That makes things pretty different. A half-mountain half-cat would have rolled over even the mightiest Bear, but thanks to the Black Bear’s sheer size I see it advancing in an upset over the sleek Catamount. But should a half-mountain half-cat actually show up then all bets are off.
Great Danes vs. Hartford Hawks
Assuming the clever Danes get past New Hampshire they face a far smaller animal, the predatory Hawk. While the Dane has loyalty, strength and Scooby snacks, the Hawk has something that the Dane cannot offer: flight. Look for the Hawk to use this to its advantage and soar over the Dane, perhaps pecking at the Dane’s large adorable head.
Binghamton Bearcats vs. Boston Terriers
This one’s a laugher. Anytime you combine the strength of a bear with the speed of a cat you’re going to have one heck of a result. And to put a Bearcat against a yapping little Terrier? I wouldn’t be surprised if the Terrier is too scared to even make it onto the court against the dreaded Bearcat. The one thing the Terrier has going for it is its adorableness, which might help in a dog show but not in the AE tournament.
Semifinals:
Black Bears vs. Seawolves
Picture this: You’re an innocent Black Bear trying to scoop out some salmon from a nice mountain brook ‘ and suddenly jumping out of the water howling at the moon is a majestic half-wolf, half-fish. The Bear’s reaction would be pretty funny, until you realize that poor Bear has just enjoyed its last honey jar.
Bearcats vs. Hawks
Two impressive animals facing off in what will surely be an impressive showdown. Scientists recently devised a way to check birds’ IQs (I’m not even lying) and found out that Hawks are one of the most intelligent birds in the world. And let’s not forget that hawk vision, which is the equivalent of a human with 20/2 sight. The intelligence, eyesight and flight are just enough to overcome the fact that the Bearcat will be in its own den.
Finals:
Seawolves vs. Hawks
Finding the winner here is simple. Who usually wins when an air force attacks a navy? The Hawk has the advantage that it can strike from any spot in the sky, while the Sea Wolf, even with its reported magic powers, cannot soar into the wild blue yonder.
So mark it down: those clever birds of prey from Hartford will be crowned champions. This method is fool-proof, just wait and see.