Whether you have a long night of studying ahead of you or just need to visit a rest stop between classes, everyone has a favorite bathroom. But be warned, a bathroom can also be a living hell. So we asked all our writers to weigh in on the hidden gems and the overexposed mainstreams of piss. Try not to spread the word.
Best bathrooms:
The upstairs men’s room on the Newing College side of Chenango Champlain Collegiate Center. Every time I go there the entire bathroom is spotless as if it has just been cleaned by janitors sent from heaven. The soap dispensers are full, the sinks are clean and the floors are never sticky. Sometimes I think that this bathroom is a figment of my imagination, a hallucination maybe, but it is always there and always perfect. – Joseph Barberio
Einstein Bros Bagels’ overly processed food got you feeling down? The plumbing at this establishment can handle your stomach’s misfortune. The overly spicy jalapeno salsa spread feels just as painful coming out the tail end. – Spencer Kostrinsky
In Glenn G. Bartle Library, make a left as you exit the white room. Then, go down the hallway until you reach the double black doors that specify “use this door only.” First of all, follow instructions. Second, please use the bathroom on the other side. It’s always clean, fully stocked with toilet paper and always empty. It’s a great place to have a good cry, play some Candy Crush or just simply take care of business. – Kayla Harris
Basement bathroom in the New University Union. Convenient. Clean. Cozy. – Seth Perry
Hillside Community Commons. It’s always clean, and there’s never anyone in there. Truly a winning combination. – Katie Dowd
The most improved bathrooms are in Fine Arts Building. They’re clean and spacious, and there’s even nice tiling on the wall. I usually stop there on my way back to my apartment to relieve myself. – Yael Rabin
The second best one is the Old University Union basement, adjacent to the Undergrounds. It’s quiet and spacious, a hidden gem in the midst of it all. My favorite is too precious to share. – Jon Finkelstein
Down the hall from the Jazzman’s booths. There is only one stall, and if you sit quietly when someone walks in, they assume you’re going to be a while and they leave. Good for those times you want to be alone on the toilet. – Ilana Lipowicz
The best bathroom is by far the men’s bathroom located in the catacombs below Lecture Hall. It’s rarely occupied (despite being quite spacious) and often quite clean. – Rich Kersting
Although I was bit dubious about sharing a suite with a resident assistant, sharing a bathroom with only two girls rather than 20 outweighs the cons. What’s not so great, though, is walking into someone who’s taken the liberty of using my bathroom in the middle of the night because they can’t “do the deed in a social setting” when they’re drunk. You know who you are. – Rosibel Tavares
The bathrooms in Science III are luxuriously isolated. Dear bio majors: Stop keeping this a secret from the rest of us. – Anna Szilagyi
The bathroom in the basement of the New Union should be given some sort of campus award. The soaps are always filled, and the sinks are never gross. It’s so nice I half expect an attendant to hand me a towel and a breath mint on my way out. – Odeya Pinkus
The bathroom on the first floor of the library by the booths.
I walk inside to a bathroom that’s closet-sized.
Someone’s peeing just to my side.
I still reside.
Girl walks out, I look her in the eye.
We passionately exchange a high five,
Shimmy to our destination bona fide
Where I lock myself inside
And pee smiling. – Dorothy Farrell
Worst bathrooms:
The girl’s bathroom on the second floor of Bartle. I didn’t know it was humanly possible to see the things I see in those toilet bowls, but I’ve seen them and those images are forever ingrained in my mind. Did none of your mothers ever teach you that you can absolutely not flush a tampon down the toilet? – Yael Rabin
The men’s room on the third floor of the student wing. Everywhere you walk, the cracked tile floor is sticky from who knows what. Two of them are normal looking sinks that you would find in any public bathroom. The third sink is about two feet lower than the others with a bowl that extends much farther than the others. It appears to have been made for a person that is short in height and has extra long arms. – Joseph Barberio
Basement bathroom in Bartle because toilets should flush. And not smell like wet dog. – Seth Perry
Bartle. Let me get this straight, ladies: You got into Binghamton University, but you don’t know how to flush a frigging toilet? I am hereby revoking your admissions decisions. In the words of the great prophet Raven-Symoné, “Ya nasty.” – Katie Dowd
Worst bathrooms have got to be the second floor Bartle ones by the elevators. The sinks won’t stay running long after you stop holding the knob down, and the ratio of usable stalls to frightening ones shows just how many people use them each day. – Alex Wolff
You can’t lock the door in the bathroom on the first floor of Bartle. Enough said. – Tiffany Moustakas
The lecture hall bathrooms are pretty bad. They look nice, but going downstairs to use them makes it feel like you’re peeing in a well-furnished dungeon. – Liam O’Malley
The men’s bathroom in the New Union basement. You should not be considered potty trained until you know how to flush without clogging the toilet with poop and toilet paper. – Jacob Shamsian