The quest to figuring out ‘girl code’ is so complex that it’s almost impossible to crack. Because of the difficulty in defining the code, how do females go about following it? Well, pay close attention ladies. After consulting with the 11 girls of Cedar Street, who also happen to be best friends, here’s what they had to say about boys, hookups and dating.
Can you hook up with or date a friend’s ex?
The girl with the ‘hubby’ said: ‘No, absolutely not. An ex is someone that your friend had a personal relationship with, and a friend being involved with someone you have been intimate with is just awkward.’
The newly single girl agreed: ‘No way! Dating someone is different than just a hookup. You didn’t just want to get in the person’s pants, it means that you liked the guy and strong feelings were involved. Unless of course, the friend is completely OK with it, which is rare, but possible.’
Bottom line: Check with your friend, but it’s probably a no-go. Ex-boyfriends are usually way off limits, so try finding a new guy if you value your friendship.
Can you hook up with a friend’s past hookup?
The single gal said: ‘It depends on the magnitude of the hookup. Hooking up once drunkenly is different than hooking up several times and going on dates.’
The big flirt said: ‘This is very situation-based. It really depends on if feelings were involved and the amount of times that they hooked up and hung out. I wouldn’t care if a friend hooked up with a guy I randomly made out with once, but I would care if a friend hooked up with a guy that I repeatedly hooked up with and had feelings for ‘ even though we didn’t date.’
Bottom line: Unfortunately, there is no right answer to this one. If your girlfriends are true friends, you will know when it is and isn’t OK to get with a past hookup. Use your discretion and you should be OK. And if you’re really questioning what to do, ask before you make the move.
Can you date a friend’s past crush?
The girl with the boyfriend said: ‘It depends on how sensitive the girl is. But for the most part, I don’t think it should be an issue. I really don’t think they have the grounds to tell you no if it’s just a crush.’
The flirt agreed: ‘Yeah, it should be fine unless the friend is really emotional about it. If it was just a crush, then that means they never acted upon their feelings, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.’
Bottom line: Ya snooze, ya lose. If you have a crush and don’t act upon your feelings, you can’t get mad at a friend for making the first move. Looks like it’s time to stop being so shy and let your crush know how you really feel before someone else does.
If a friend has a boyfriend, should they be allowed to tell you that you can’t hook up with someone they ‘crush on’ or have hooked up with?
The gal with a serious boyfriend said: ‘Yes, the person with the boyfriend can still have claims. I have a serious boyfriend right now, but I still wouldn’t want some of my friends getting with past hookups that I’ve had strong feelings for.’
The single girl disagreed: ‘No, because if they are happy then they shouldn’t be concerned with what is making someone else happy. You can’t have your cake and eat it too!’
Bottom line: Looks like there’s no correct answer to this one. I guess, once again, your best bet is to ask your friend before you make the move. Even though she currently has a new guy, there’s a good chance she’s still hung up on her old flame.
While it still is hard to pinpoint a definition for the ‘girl code,’ everything seems to be completely situation-based. When it comes to close girlfriends, the code should be unspoken. If your friendships are true, then you should be able to discern when it is and isn’t OK to have intimate relations with a friend’s past fling. However, if you can’t, don’t hesitate to ask. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when someone else’s emotions come into play.