In college, opportunities to engage in masturbation become alarmingly restricted. For many, the personal freedom and lack of authority that accompany going away to school are welcome changes, but they also come with a few inconvenient sacrifices.

At best, a dorm room is no bigger than a walk-in closet. This painful fact eliminates nearly all personal privacy, not to mention seriously compromises the ability to walk through the room without colliding into a roommate’s furniture. As one is forced to adjust to the limited space, it also becomes vital to deal with the drastically reduced amount of alone time.

Such limited means call for desperate measures. In order to get a full, uninterrupted session, it becomes crucial for many to learn their roommates’ class schedules and the secluded spots on campus where they can partake in the original one-man sport. In spite of such careful planning, the potential for awkward situations still runs high.

A Long Island Binghamton University junior said his cramped living environment made for some uncomfortable encounters.

“I walked in on my roommate a couple of times last year,” he said. “It was funny, because he made it obvious what he was doing. The door would be locked and he always wore the same thing — no socks or shirt and yellow silk shorts. After it happened again his attitude was angry like I was interrupting something; he was pretty pissed off and embarrassed.”

Another BU junior speaks of a similar awkward confrontation with his roommate. “There were two separate inciden[t]s,” he said. “The first time, he thought I was in class; when I walked in, his pants, shorts and underwear were dropped to his ankles. He had toilet paper in his hands and porn on his computer. I left and pretended I didn’t see anything. He obviously was embarrassed later when he tried to engage in conversation immediately.”

Not only a guy’s concern, college females also experience the same embarrassing situations. After being discovered with her vibrator, a Seneca sophomore is now exclusively greeted by her new nickname, “Hello, Bzzz.”

These distressing circumstances students face bring stress to an activity where there should be none.

“Masturbation is about pleasure,” said a BU senior. “When I got to college, I couldn’t even take that for granted any longer. Someone could walk in on me.” While the senior accounting major did not give up masturbating, he had to learn to plan his sessions very carefully. “I had to make sure no one else would be around. Mostly, I started doing it in the shower.”

The pressures of exams, assignments and social situations heavily contribute to the stressful college atmosphere. For many, an hour of alone time is the simplest form of relaxation.

“It’s stress relief, plain and simple,” said a Newing sophomore. “Like sex, it really helps me relax.”

Some are less private about their intentions. Dmitry, a 21-year-old senior, gleefully shares his masturbatory escapades, telling all who will listen when he plans to go rub one out.

While less obvious, rumor around campus is that a certain math tutor provides students with more than number two pencils and scientific calculators. Vibrators, fuzzy handcuffs; they’re all available for purchase through this math whiz.

Although not quite appropriate for dining hall conversation, discussing masturbation doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, especially since shows like “Sex and the City” and “Desperate Housewives” have lifted certain taboos about sex in mainstream media. Exposing what goes on under the covers is more acceptable now.

“I think it’s a matter of common knowledge that everyone does it,” said Emily, 20. “It’s one of those unspoken truths in life.”

So if you notice your tissue and lotion reserves being questionably depleted and your roommate’s heavy breathing interferes with your sleep, you might want to reconsider what’s really going on. More importantly, it may be time for some kind of sock-on-door arrangement.