Although relationships bring happiness, they will always have one enemy: cheating. It’s an issue has existed since dating began, but how do guys view cheating and to what extent has your girlfriend gone too far? Most people have friends of the opposite sex they confide in for advice or emotional support, but is it crossing the line?
Gilbert Hernandez, a junior double-majoring in linguistics and Italian, said it’s acceptable to have close friends of the opposite sex as long as she doesn’t get emotionally attached to the confidant.
However, Matt Schifano, a senior majoring in mechanical engineering, thinks the history of the friendship is important.
‘It’s usually not a good idea unless it’s a life-long friend that you’re basically related to,’ Schifano said.
Another instance is dancing. The lack of privacy on a crowded dance floor causes dancing to be more of a social activity than an intimate act.
‘It certainly depends on the degree of dancing and whether my girlfriend knows the person I’m dancing with,’ said Dylan Ruebeck, a senior majoring in integrative neuroscience. ‘Though generally, I think dancing with a girl that isn’t your girlfriend is innocent.’
Ruebeck said that dancing shouldn’t be considered a threat to commitment, and a person may be too controlling if he or she worried about it.
‘I wouldn’t tell my girlfriend that she can’t dance with any guy besides me. A restriction like that seems too extreme,’ Ruebeck said.
Ruebeck thinks context is the most important factor in giving someone your phone number. Exchanging digits Downtown, however, is a big no-no.
‘If you get a girl’s number for a study group, it’s not a big deal at all,’ Ruebeck said. ‘But if the girl was interested in me and wanted to get in between my girlfriend and I, then I wouldn’t take her number.’
Technology can also create opportunities for cheating since it allows easy access and connection to people. But Chuck Poillon, a junior majoring in financial engineering, says boundaries can be crossed once texting is involved.
‘Texting can get a little dangerous if you’re flirting,’ Poillon said. ‘Then you’re getting into a gray area.’
Although flirting through texting may seem harmless, it can lead to making other kinds of plans with each other. Schifano suggests that a person who goes on dates with others should reconsider his or her relationship.
Ben Eisenkop, a graduate biology student, says it’s important to set boundaries on your relationship in terms of whether it’s casual or serious.
‘It’s really important to define your relationship before going on dates with another person,’ Eisenkop said.
But spending lots of time with a person other than your significant other could lead to crush territory.
‘I think having a crush on someone that isn’t your partner is bound to happen, and it’s probably inescapable unless you’re in some kind of magical Utopian relationship,’ Eisenkop said. ‘The most important thing is to focus on your partner and not act on that crush. If you’re so pressured to follow through on your crush, then you probably shouldn’t be in the other relationship to begin with.’
If emotions become too intense, the possibility of physical cheating could happen; it could start with something little like cuddling.
‘That’s wrong because it’s showing affection toward another person that you’re not with and it’s disrespectful to your girlfriend,’ Hernandez said.
Eisenkop agrees that cuddling is inappropriate.
‘If people think cuddling is entirely platonic, you’re probably deluding yourself. But even if it is, you should consider how your partner is going to feel, pretty terrible,’ he said.
Physical cheating is a betrayal that can tear both a relationship and someone’s heart into pieces. Physical cheating such as sex puts the emotional bond of relationships aside, damaging the emotions of the significant other.
‘I think it goes without saying that cheating physically is unforgivable,’ Schifano said.
Although guys vary in defining cheating before things get physical, they agree that once the boundary is crossed, there’s no going back.