When it comes to relationships, there are many things expected from both men and women. Partners should be expected to call each other, see each other, text each other, remember each other’s birthday, only have sex with each other ‘ you get the idea. These are things that, for the most part, will help keep the bonds that hold the relationship together strong and fresh.

There are other expectations though, that, while rarely discussed in public, are just as important as the aforementioned relationship strengtheners. In case you aren’t sure of what I mean, let me paint you a picture, dear reader.

You and your lover, Susie Sweetcheeks (or Tommy Tastytush ‘ or Sandy Fancypants, or Morris Muffinbutts, or Bobby BouncyBuns, or ‘ all right, I got carried away) are together after a wonderful picnic in the park. The bees are buzzing, the fish are singing and the dogs are humping; love is in the air! You, since you’re such a caring lover, decide that you want to pleasure Susie/Tommy/Sandy/Morris/Bobby. So, you wipe the crumbs from your mouth, forcefully (yet delicately) turn your lover over, rip his/her pants open, and what do you find?!? A bush so large that not even Moses and his staff could put the fire out! (Two points for biblical/fire-crotch reference.) That’s right, your lover, unbeknownst to you, hasn’t trimmed his/her pubic region in many moons.

Now, you love Susie/Tommy/Sandy/Morris/Bobby (or at the very least, want ass from him/her), but there is no way that you can realistically pleasure your lover without seeing what’s going on down there. What do you do? You and your partner manscape and/or womanscape each other!

What better relationship-building exercise is out there than shaving your lover’s pubes? If there is one out there, I’d sure like to know! Haven’t you, men, always desired a trimmed hairow (hair arrow) pointing from your belly button towards your Bavarian beefstick so that it truly could be a ‘treasure trail?’ And you, ladies, certainly have always desired a landing strip so that your lover can park his jumbo jet in your happy hanger! Put some tiny flashing lights on there, some little men with sticks and you’ve got yourself a full-service airport! (Not to mention a slutty girlfriend, but nevertheless.)

Chances are that you two haven’t even begun to think about the man/womanscaping possibilities there are out there, but let me try to enlighten you. There’s Jenna Jameson’s (notable actress and ‘occasional’ porn star) Hot Trimmer, starting at $23.95; there’s Muff-So-Soft crotch conditioner, for $7.95, coming in the mint and honeysuckle varieties; and for only $10 at most convenient stores, you and your lover can even purchase a small mustache trimmer and shape up your respective crotch-locks. If you’re looking for more of a trim job instead of the Andre Agassi shaved-head look, perhaps children’s scissors might do the trick. You and your lover could trim smiley faces into each other’s grassy knolls as you laugh about the corruption of the youth. The opportunities and designs are endless!

So please, take heed to my words and manscape/womanscape your lover, parents, even your grandmother ‘ share the love! For whether it’s a random hook-up or a serious relationship, your partner will love the new you.

‘ Jake Altman is a junior English and anthropology major, and even Billy Baldwin, an alumni of BU, firmly supports manscaping (when he’s not supporting the wrestling team of course!).