Although holiday break may be over, don’t sulk ‘ in a couple of weeks you will be going home again for mid-winter vacation, and then yet again in late March for spring break. And since you will be doing all of this traveling, I feel that it is my duty to warn you: avoid taking the Short Line bus system at all costs.

Short Line (Coach USA) has recently become popular with students in the Binghamton-Ithaca-Albany area because of its generous student discount. What most students don’t realize, however, is that there is a reason for the lower price ‘ crappy service. Long delays, mob scenes and rude coach staff are all common when taking Short Line buses. At this rate, they might as well re-name it ‘Long Line.’

To give you an idea, I will now briefly illustrate the Short Line experience.

The responsible traveler that you are, you arrive at the Chenango Street Short Line station an hour and a half before your scheduled departure time. Ticket in hand, you feel confident that you will not be left behind. That is, until five buses full of Colgate University students pull into the station, all awaiting transfer to the same bus that you so conveniently happen to be waiting for as well.

When the bus finally arrives, it is a riot. You frantically push and shove your way through the crowd, utilizing your luggage as a weapon. Since arrivals and departures are never announced, you pray that this particular bus is, in fact, the one that you need. You inquire as to the destination, but the driver roars at you to, ‘Get back!! Don’t crowd me, or no one is getting on!!!!!’

The student next to you is becoming anxious. He has been trying to find out whether the bus will make a stop in Woodbridge, but, much like you, has not received an answer. He inquires once more, ‘Are you going to Woodbridge?’ Just as he does, possibly the most bizarre thing that you have ever seen happens.

‘You know what, just because of that, you are not going to Woodbridge with me,’ snarls the sadistic bus driver. ‘I’ll be damned if you’re going to Woodbridge with me, punk-ass!’ He then proceeds to make some small-minded insults, but the boy can no longer hear him as he makes his way through the crowd toward a neighboring coach.

At long last, your ticket is ripped and you are one of the lucky few to board the bus. Nazi-bus-driver-from-hell grunts and curses as he tries to fit all the baggage into the storage compartment of the bus. When he comes back, it is about an hour after your scheduled departure time. He proceeds to lecture you on the importance of putting your baggage in vertically as opposed to sideways.

Miraculously, there are still a few empty seats left and more people are let on the bus. As they scramble for seats, it becomes painfully obvious that there aren’t enough. With one girl left standing, the bus driver pulls out of the station. Unaware of her plight, the bus driver screams into the microphone that ‘everyone must remain seated at all times!’ Clearly too diffident to disobey ‘ if it had been you, you would be sitting on the bus driver’s lap already ‘ the poor thing slumps down on the floor in front of the bathroom and remains there until the bus stops in Woodbridge, N.J.

‘ Polina Deryuga is a sophomore management and pre-law major. She enjoys putting mascara and eye shadow on her boyfriend, though it sometimes takes a while to chase him down and restrain him.