There is a unique breed of guy you all are most likely familiar with — the “my butt is too sexy for my pants” guy.

His parents never taught him how to dress himself properly, and now his six-sizes-too-big pants sag brazenly just below his buttocks, revealing his SpongeBob SquarePants underwear to the world. These pants need to be pulled up every 25.73 seconds to keep from falling to the poor loser’s knees, and they somewhat resemble a popped balloon clinging helplessly to a piece of string.

One can only wonder why this tasteless, atrocious and, most of all, stupid appearance continues to be perpetrated by students everywhere.

The “drooping pants” look originated in prisons, where inmates were not allowed to wear belts. It continues to be widely used today by the “gangster-wannabe” population, but is not exclusive to any particular sub-cultural group. Perhaps the boys sporting this look are trying to send us a message. They are saying, “Beware, for I am down with prison culture and when angered will strangle you with my giant pants.” It is more likely that these guys have simply been dropped on their heads a few times too many as babies.

I think that the guys who dress according to this fad do not fully comprehend how dim-witted they look. Contrary to what these boys probably believe, it does not make their butts appear cute in any way, shape or form. Far from it, the saggy pant is our generation’s equivalent of the infamous repairman’s crack. It is shameless and a complete turnoff to women, most of whom like to see a guy’s ass at least slightly accentuated by his jeans. Saggy pants actually tend to disgust a large portion of men as well.

Not to say that I am morally against the display of undergarments or think that guys’ bodies are repulsive. Quite the contrary: the top of a Calvin Klein label showing above the jeans can be quite sexy, if done tastefully. Moreover, I am one of those girls who will argue with great ferocity that the male body is just as beautiful as the female body, if not more so. However, every time I see a guy’s pants riding below the gluteus maximus, I get an overwhelming urge to pull them down from behind and run away, middle school-style.

For the guys currently sporting saggy pants I suggest that, unless it will prompt you to strangle your roommate in his sleep or whip your calculus professor, you invest in a quality belt and use it to pull up those saggy pants. Do so, because when I finally give in to my temptation of pulling down somebody’s low-riders, you don’t want that person to be you.

— Polina is a sophomore management and pre-law major. She thinks that it is necessary to place the above sign in all public transportation and non-smoking facilities.