Having friends and family is a damn blessing. I truly believe that if you’re fortunate enough to have people in your life who genuinely care for and love you, you’re in a good place. Unfortunately, life isn’t that simple. It can often be tough to reach out or talk to these people in your life. But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that it shouldn’t be. No matter what the case is, you should always reach out to people you love when something is on your mind because it will only benefit you.
This is all coming from a guy who has had his fair share of trouble with communication. I was never great about opening up emotionally, especially as a kid and well into my teenage years. I wish I could pinpoint when my hesitation all started, but I honestly can’t say. When it comes to talking to people about your feelings, especially as a man, I feel like the discourse is completely screwed — many times, I will find videos on social media platforms of men telling other — often young — men to not share their feelings.
These videos would say things like “sharing your feelings is for the weak,” or “if you cry in front of your girlfriend, she’ll grow unattracted to you.” This is such an interesting topic to me because I’ve resonated with this despite also wanting to open up. I have had arcs of “I can’t be vulnerable in front of people,” keeping all of my personal emotions to myself. I’ve also had moments in which I opened up to the people in my life and told them how I felt — it honestly comes and goes.
I want to make it clear that this whole “your girlfriend will leave you if you open up to them” idea is bullshit. If you are dating a kind, caring person, and you open up to them about anything that is deeply bothering you, they will 1,000 percent support you and be there for you. Believe me — I know because I’ve had these heavy feelings while in relationships. In a couple of relationships, I would struggle to open up and be vulnerable to my girlfriend at the time, and, every time, they would say that they wanted me to open up.
I’ve had more girls say to me that they want me to cry in front of them, rather than not cry at all. Now, does this mean you should cry to your girlfriend every day about every little thing? No. But, if there’s something going on in your life that is deeply hurting and bothering you, whether it’s a personal or external matter, opening up can potentially make your partner more comfortable around you. I’m all for being strong and stoic, but sometimes it helps to let the walls come down. Take it from me.
I had a personal quandary bothering me for a year. Yes, a literal year. I didn’t talk to ANYONE about it, because I didn’t feel comfortable. I didn’t want them to look at me differently for being weak or whatever bullshit I fed myself at the time. Once I eventually did, I talked to a ton of people close to me in my circle about it — friends and family alike. It opened my eyes. The whole time I kept everything in, I felt like a crazy person — I felt like I was torturing myself, and I couldn’t for the life of me fix it alone — that is, until I talked to people who I loved and respected and got their input.
Opening up made me feel better in a way that I never imagined possible. It took a weight off my shoulders — a weight that had been burrowing into my muscles for a literal year. Finally getting that outside perspective on my issues made everything so much clearer and easier. It felt so freeing — I cannot comprehend that I let this stuff stew inside me for as long as I did. I feel ashamed that I did, because I know I would have been way better off if I just sat down with someone I cared about and told them what was ailing me.
So yes — long story short, talk to people. No matter what is bothering you. Talk to your friends, your parents, your girlfriend, boyfriend, talk to your dog, talk to anyone. It can’t hurt. Mental health is a super important facet of our lives. While it’s gotten more attention in our modern society, it is still brushed away by many people. So, screw that. Open up when you need it to the people in your life. It’ll make you closer to them and bring them closer to you.
Nicolas Scagnelli is a senior majoring in English.
Views expressed in the opinions pages represent the opinions of the columnists. The only piece that represents the views of the Pipe Dream Editorial Board is the Staff Editorial.