“Going down, going down at the bunny ranch!” This is the start to the wonderful 9 minute long porn clip entitled “Potter Twins Strap-on.” Yes, this set of half-decent looking twins are dancing around, shaking their giant gazungas and smiling like this is just natural behavior. Since I can’t think of anything else even remotely strenuous, I understand why they collapse on their couch after their fervent gyrations. Soon thereafter, one twin presents the other with a gigantic, dark purple strap-on phallus. They both use it to much satisfaction, at least on my end.

But wait, there’s more! Suddenly they cut to a giant fluorescent blue double-sided penis, and they both proceed to proclaim, “Oh yes, oh yes, it feels so good,” It spurs on queries such as, “Do you love it?!?” Well, apparently they do, as they stain their upholstery for a good five minutes and spew more cardboard phrases like “Mmmm” and “Ooohh.” They finish up and then debate the merits of having a boyfriend versus owning a sixteen-inch rubber dong. I’m still on the fence with that issue.

Overall, I felt the acting was really poor. Any hot, skinny, blonde twins I’ve seen engage in lesbian incest have really put their hearts and souls into it. This is but a reasonable facsimile at best. Yeah, they’re twins with boob jobs, we get it. I can watch the OC to have my hot sister fantasies fulfilled. This doesn’t have anything that will surprise or titillate. Yes, it has a leopard-skin couch. I admit that was pretty cool, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. Great Feng Shui does not a porno make— it’s Lovelace, look it up.

Despite its flaws, you’re probably going to want to download it anyway. Search any reputable sharing program for “Potter Twins” and I’m sure you’ll find it or some other masterpiece they’ve filmed. I mean, hot lesbo twin sisters come along once in a blue moon, so you might as well waste your bandwidth (and your splooge), right?