Brokeback Mountain: it’s the movie that’s on everyone’s lips. With its worldwide release, a whole slew of new people can see just what the fuss is about. To me, a tried and true traditionalist, this movie is nothing but a thinly veiled propaganda piece promoting a deviant lifestyle.

It’s bad enough that for years, these people have been flaunting their culture and lifestyle in our faces. Every time I turn on TV, there’s another one in his leather chaps, smiling and carrying on. I can’t stand it. Must I sit by idly and watch as all these traditional values that I’ve known are destroyed?

I feel bad for all the men who walked into this movie expecting one thing but getting something far, far different. I have seen the disgust on many of their faces, and heard their comments in the lobby of the movie theater. “Oh my God, I didn’t know there were COWBOYS in that movie!”

Gays have worked too hard and too long to gain even a modicum of acceptance in today’s world. With pressure and hatred from the right and every religious zealot in this country, it’s hard enough for Gary and Tony to live any semblance of a normal life. Now they’ve got this awful smear on their lifestyle to contend with, and to me that’s just not fair.

Cowboys give gays a bad name. Homosexuals don’t ride around on horseback, herd cows, and pretend to have straight relationships with that cute gal from the Princess Diaries. That’s not the image they’ve striven to make for themselves. They don’t hug each other in spastic convulsions of anguish and moan, “I wish I knew how to quit you!” Even Elton John would find that just a little too gay.

Look at how gay culture has enriched everyone’s lives in the past few years. Queer Eye cleaned up legions of slovenly heterosexuals with nothing going for them. Ellen has a somewhat entertaining morning talk show. Rosie O’Donnell played a retarded girl on a bus. That guy Ant hosts Celebrity Fit Club. It’s all there. Now, some John Wayne wannabe goons want to come along and disrupt the delicate social fabric.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’m not going to have any of that. I like my gays to be out there, happy and proud. If cowboys had their way, every gay would be locked up in a log cabin somewhere in the Midwest, crying and eventually getting lynched. I’m not going to say that anyone who supports cowboys is a homophobe, but I think the facts speak for themselves.

Brokeback Mountain gets the lowest possible rating from me. I simply can’t recommend such a destructive movie. I’ll tell you one thing, though. If next Halloween you homosexuals decide to dress up like cowboys, the hatemongers have won.