Beauty, Grace, MDMA. Grace and beauty can look like projectile vomiting on to the sidewalk for 10 seconds, catching your breath, then talking about how throwing up is an amazing experience. Miss MDMA, she is an icon! Pupils the size of the sun, with a clenched jaw. I remember the first time I took molly, waiting impatiently for it to kick in, the longest 35 minutes of my life, and then in one step it was like someone had given me a new set of glasses. MDMA is Miss Beauty and Grace, Miss Clarity and, in all her greatness and gloriousness, it’s the best for all involved when she is approached with respect and used well. This molly etiquette is offered to you less as a command and more as a suggestion. This is just my way of rolling around.
No party. No E at the rave. No E ever actually. If you can, it’s so much better to just stick to rock. But no rock at the party either. Let’s not be over-indulgent shall we? I’m kidding, but there is something to be said for unnecessary stimulation. I mean you just took molly — if it’s good quality and you gave yourself a kind and healthy dose, then you’re already set in terms of sensory stimulation. The feeling of the wind on your skin is going to be blowing your mind, the voices of passersby on the street are going to be magnified beyond belief, music from a singular headphone will explode through your ears and make its way down and around every inch of your body and brain. The real party with Miss Molly lies in the mundane, in the fact that regular everyday objects, actions, sights, etc., appear to you as fresh, miraculous, engaging. I remember walking into a crystal store during my first roll and finding a chair that spun, sitting in it and having my soon-to-be boyfriend spining me around, and I was filled with limitless joy. I kept going “Oh my god I love spinning, oh my god I love that this chair is here, I love that chairs can spin and I can feel dizzy.” That’s the party man.
She’s so perfect that you don’t need to add anything. I know people who have done molly, but only have taken it while already intoxicated, or with the intention of it being one of many substances they indulge in that day. And that’s cool, all fine and well, but you should do MDMA at least once on its own, have an authentic roll through and through. If anything, a little ketamine while you’re waiting for it to hit or coming up will help smoothen your transition into the Happy Crazy Person World, but there really is no need for any other substance. Oh, except nicotine. Smoking will not only tickle you, but it’ll keep your jaw from sitting tight or your molars from gritting on each other. Start with one pack, but don’t be surprised if there ends up being a second.
Don’t play around with hydration. Each person should be accompanied by an absolutely huge water bottle, and you may not anticipate how easily it will disappear. It’s not a matter of chugging water down, but healthy, regulated sips. And you’re going to want the water, because guess what, you’re rolling! You took a drug that is pushing your body into abnormal and excessive chemical production right now — you’re doing the work! Give your body nourishment for its efforts! Oh, and about your bladder — either nothing will come out or you’ll need to find a quiet corner every 30 minutes. I’m usually the camel type, whereas my best friend, who has been my MDMA companion for the last three years now, is the one pulling at my arm to help her find somewhere to pop a squat.
And it’s especially important to have water at hand because you are about to do nothing short of walking and sitting. That’s it, that’s what’s on the schedule. Just walk around, see where your feet take you and how far you can go. My average is around 10 miles, and I swear to you fatigue only hits when you’re two blocks away from home. Walking, being an observer on the move, is the best way to appreciate, explore and indulge the effects in cognition, feeling and perception. Like I said earlier, it’s all about the transformation of the mundane. Have fun losing your mind over the feeling of water running down your neck, or gaping at the beauty of the average street lamp, or the plants in the Apple Store. Everything is magic with Miss Molly — there’s nothing you need to look for, and everything you find is meant to be.
Most significantly, remember that you’re here for the whole roll, not just the peak. You’re here for the fun of coming up, the incoherent ecstasy of the peak, the joyful grounded plateauing that follows, and the slow serene coming down. There’s something to be had at each stage, and it is the experience as a whole that is valuable, not just one instance during it. I don’t believe in redosing, and I don’t believe in rolling more than twice a year. Such a unique way of existing should be kept unique! And who am I to be entitled to magic any more often than that.
Views expressed in the opinions pages represent the opinions of the columnists. The only piece which represents the views of the Pipe Dream Editorial Board is the Staff Editorial.
Editor’s Note: We have allowed this columnist to publish this anonymously as a Drug Issue exception, as this article discusses a personal experience. We have allowed writers to remain anonymous in sex and drug issues before.